Learn from people, even the flawed, and your life will change, says author


HOUSTON (ValleyCentral) — Author Thomas Fellow discusses another one of his books entitled, “Listen Up, Seek Enough Advice, So One Day You’ll Be Giving It”.

Fellows said the book was basically inspired by three quotes or ideas.

The first was from David Brooks’ book, “The Road to Character”, where he said humility is the understanding that there’s a lot you don’t know and what you do know is either wrong or distorted. The second is a quote by Harper Lee, the author of “To Kill a Mockingbird”, where she said many receive advice but few profit from it. The third is from legendary college football coach Paul “Bear” Bryant, where he says, “I’m no innovator. If anything, I’m a stealer or borrower, I’ve stolen far more things than I can shake a stick at.”

Fellows said, in this book, he’s noticed in his lifetime a lot of people are hurt by receiving advice. He said you can actually trick somebody into thinking you are a lot smarter than you really are if you just listen and ask and seek advice from other people.

Fellows said, “I had something happen where, you know, an old neighbor of mine. I was explaining how he and everybody had a lot of faith and they would have success. And she kept saying, Oh, well, I was the same way, you know, I thought I was an imposter, meaning that she was, you know, not as good as she really thought she was. So she was saying the opposite of what I really was. She kept saying it over and over again. I said, No, you know, I was the opposite. Nobody believed in me. So I have the imposter syndrome in the book.”

Fellows said he makes the claim you should listen to anybody and everyone. A few years ago, he asked advice from an 18-year-old high school student who was going to Stanford, who had given a good public speaking talk. And I said, Well, you know, what tips do you have to give me? And he basically said, Well, you need to start off really strong and very strong because people remember that the next in for, you know, 31 year old to be asking that of an 18-year-old is huge.

At one point Fellows even asked the homeless person for advice. He said most people think that we should help the homeless. “You know, I was thinking the other way around, why not get advice from a homeless person? So when you’re open to open like that, you’re going to learn a lot more and you become a lot smarter.”

In the book Fellows said the most arrogant people aren’t the ones who brag. A lot of people who can’t seem to listen to others and get advice from them and get feedback from them.

“I’m always getting feedback”, said Fellows. “I make the claim that I’ve never arrived because I want to get better each and every day. And so many people aren’t like that.”

Fellows added that if you learn from others, even the flawed, your life will be changed, and when your life changes, you will change others.

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